June 2024

Dear Cobham Park Church Family,
When people visit a new church, they often feel simultaneously welcome and unwelcome. For instance, I recently visited a thriving Baptist congregation in another state. I was uncertain of where I was supposed to park as I drove into the church lot. A few empty unmarked spots were near the sanctuary, and I backed into one. As I opened my van door, an usher hurried over: “You can’t park here! These spaces are reserved. You’ll need to go down there (he pointed to a crowded lot a few hundred feet downhill). But it’s great to see you this morning. Welcome!” I heard his greeting, but, at the same time, I didn’t feel very welcome. What are some unspoken mixed messages that a church visitor can hear?
1. “We love visitors, but we don’t stop to think about what you’re going through.”
After attending a particular church for a long time, a member learns where everything is and how things are done there. Meanwhile, a visitor is ignorant of such things. And God help him if he unintentionally takes someone’s favorite seat! You, however, try to think about things from a visitor’s perspective. Some of you even wait at the door to greet and guide them. You’re willing to set aside your own convenience for their sake. You keep the building and grounds clean and attractive. Thank you for your hospitality!
2. “We love visitors, but you’re not important enough to talk to.”
Maybe you’ve had the experience of visiting a church where nobody speaks to you. It happens more than you might think. People are so preoccupied with their routines, friends, and families that they never even notice visitors—much less strike up a conversation with them. I thank God that many of you deliberately welcome newcomers! You introduce yourselves and follow up with them. You are constantly building new friendships beyond your familiar circles. Keep it up!
3. “We love visitors—as long as we don’t have to change anything.”
This is a question of love, pure and simple. A church may want to attract young families, for example. But will it love them enough to make changes needed to better reach them in Christ? I was once a member of a church where a certain older lady constantly talked about how much the church needed more young people. One Sunday, a young couple visited with their baby. There was no nursery, so they sat in a pew near the lady in question. The new mother had to step out halfway through worship to feed her crying baby. Later that week, I actually heard complaints about these visitors from the same lady who supposedly wanted more young people. She told me how rude that mother was to interrupt worship. “…And couldn’t she keep that child quiet?!” It seems that the irony of her words escaped her. She supposedly wanted young people—but not enough to volunteer in the nursery or to be inconvenienced in any way. But I’m grateful for how you patiently love people for Jesus’ sake. You’re willing to try new things to reach them. And I’ve heard only gratitude from you about our young people!
4. “We love it when visitors join, but since you’re not one of us, you’ll be a second-class member.”
You truly amaze me with this one! Most of you have grown up in this community and have been a part of Cobham Park for decades—or life. And many of you are blood relatives too! And yet…I’ve seen you gladly welcome new members (like me) with open arms! And I’m talking about true welcome—no second-class stuff! You allow people from other places to fully share church ministry and leadership. There is no glass ceiling here! This Christlike attitude is rare in a church family. Thank you again!
“Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Do not forget
to show hospitality to strangers (Hebrews 13:1-2a, NIV)…”
In His Love,
Pastor Keith